Warriors and Jeremy Kyle
by Hollymist
Summary: Sandstorm finally talks to Firestar about spottedXfire...on a warrior's Jeremy Kyle show! When Sandstorm is lost in Firestar's Quest, he finds her in Jerez's cave. What will happen when Firestar looses his authority?  Spoof and One-shot


Ok, I had this idea just randomly occur to me, I'm a massive Sandstorm fan actually, so I think that Jeremy Kyle (Or Jerez in this) should help her out with the spottedXfire thing ;D its set when Sandstorm goes missing in Firestar's quest

This is a spoof one-shot.

First paragraph is (c) Erin Hunter

"_**No!" Firestar yowled, "Sandstorm, Sandstorm where are you?"**_

_** There was no reply. Firestar ran up and down the bank, yowling his mate's name over and over. He couldn't see any sign of her, no trace of ginger fur among the debris thrown up on the far bank.**_

**He raced every where, following his nose, but he couldn't scent her at all. He even dared going close to the two-leg place. Suddenly, his heart leaped as he heard her voice. He ran over to it, but realised it was coming from a cave.**

_**She must be in trouble! Sandstorm! **_**Firestar ran to it, his feet unsteady on all the rocks that lead to a cave. On the way he was stopped by two tuxedo toms.**

"**Alright, hold it right there." One of them said. Firestar was furious.**

"**My mate is in there! You're keeping her captive!" He growled and they laughed at him.**

"**Right nutter this one. Alright, alright if you say so sunshine. Now, what's you name?" The other said in a patronising tone.**

"**Firestar, who are you?" He said in disgust.**

"**We're security. Oh, you're Firestar? Right well, you can wait here, till Jerez says so. 'Kay?" They asked and Firestar was confused. Who was Jerez? Was he in Starclan or something? He decided to do as these 'security' toms said, till he saw Sandstorm struggling for help. What he saw surprised him most.**

**There were many cats at the back of the cave, with Sandstorm at front looking angry. Pacing round was this funny grey tom with curly hair. Firestar could easily here what they were saying.**

"**He had always loved her, but they couldn't be together so he's my mate. I'm his spare-keys. I don't want to be like that. I should be top priority!" Sandstorm complained and Firestar realised she wasn't in danger. He was though.**

"**Yes, I totally agree with you. You should be at the top, completely! I mean you do everything for him, yet he passes you aside for a dead cat." Jerez said and walked to the front. "Firestar! Why don't we discuss this together?" he called and the two tuxedo toms pushed him into the centre cave.**

**A lot of the crowd of cats at the back booed him. Who did they think they were?**

"**So, Firestar. You loved Spottedleaf, and then she died." Jerez confirmed and Firestar nodded. "But you still love her?" Jerez asked**

"**We can't be together though." Firestar explained.**

"**But you still love her!" Jerez demanded**

"**Well, I would be her mate if she was alive and not a medicine-cat!" Firestar said, scared of this cat.**

"**You love her now? At this very point, do you love her?" Jerez asked again.**

"**Well...yeah I guess." Firestar said and Sandstorm looked really upset. "I love Sandstorm more though!" he insisted.**

"**No, you don't really. You would be her mate if you could, so you would choose her over Sandstorm." Jerez persisted**

"**No! It's just when she was alive, Sandstorm didn't like me, and so I would've chosen Spottedleaf." He tried to convince them.**

"**But you still love her! I want to be the only one!" Sandstorm protested and Firestar had no idea what to do. Jerez was looking at him angrily with his brown eyes**

"**You are! If Spottedleaf came down right now as a warrior, I would still choose you!" Firestar told her and Sandstorm looked happier.**

"**Really?" She asked in a quiet happy tone**

"**Yes. I love you, and you're the only one I wanted to bring with me on this journey." Firestar looked into her smouldering eyes.**

"**Ok." Sandstorm said and ran to him. "I missed you." She admitted**

"**I missed you too." Firestar replied as he liked her shoulder**

**The audience 'aawed' and Jerez looked accomplished.**

"**Join me next time when I speak to Snow and Terry 'Are they my kits?' Find out soon!" He said and Firestar and Sandstorm left.**

"**That was a marvellous speech!" One of the tuxedo toms said as he escorted them out.**

"**Thanks. What are your names again?" Firestar asked**

"**My name's Tux, his name's Edo." Tux said and Firestar looked at them weirdly**

"**Riiight... We'll be going now..." He said and hurried Sandstorm away to find Skyclan.**

What do you think? My first ever spoof, I don't think I write it well though... still I like the idea! Right have to finish my geography =[ wish me luck!

-Hollymist


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